This Kind of Change. By David Otey

The mind is the number one control center. The programming starts from day one, coming out to join the world. For many years the brains of us have been soaking up understandings through what we’re told, what our senses bring in and what we think looks and feels good enough to give room to. We won’t know for a long time how much of our programmings are really mis-understandings.

We figure out what’s what, as we lose money, friends, time, respect, spouses, material possessions, an arm or a leg, any sort of loss that grabs us deep with the fact that we have reached a point of no return. We can’t go back, turn back the clock, get a fifteenth chance. It becomes the fork road, cross road and only one of them is open. And we already know, because we can feel it and even see some of it within sight on the only road open to us, that it’s going to be hard like we’ve never known. It’s time to change from what we were to what we must become, to not have to repeat the same losses all over again with the new acquirements. To hold onto the people and good that came from the right choices and understandings.

This kind of change is like trying to rub off ten years of rust with a fine. smooth cloth. Beliefs settled deep struggle to hold on like someone clutching to a cliff edge. The battle to change is slow and difficult. But it is possible and becomes successful because of the constant forward sight of  why we’re changing by our own will, and the difference we know it will make, the difference it already makes as we feel stronger, more confident and happier step by step. Like the marathon swimmer seeing the shore line, then feeling the sand beneath and finally trudging through the heavy steps in water onto the lighter steps on the beach to the joy of arriving totally on the land.  The little deeply felt rewards along the way are the extra energy bars to encourage and fuel the next step of the journey.

One defense used by old limiting beliefs and old enslaving thoughts, to fight to stay in our  minds, is to use defeating thoughts of shame, of time and our age being too late to change, of trying to convince us that we don’t really belong, that we’re just fooling ourselves, that others are laughing at our attempts to join a part and level of life meant only for others. These type of doubts are the small mountains to climb up and over, the potholes to climb up and out of, like the character in the book, The Pilgrims Progress. Life is meant for growth which means for changing into stronger and wiser spirits, to become greater givers and healers, more like flowers and less like weeds.

The anger and shame and fears in life are mostly the results of failed change attempts, of those being in too tight a bondage and to weak to look outward for the help of others reaching to grasp their hands and help pull them up and out of their despair. Convincing ourselves alone is almost impossible. We do need others. We need the help and words and hugs and encouragement of those already standing where we want to stand. Community has always been the strength of the strongest, the best, the wisest, the builders and maintainers of all that is right and good and happy and true.

If you’re on a journey of change right now, and you’re fighting the doubts that hammer away at your climbing successes, keep going, keep in constant communication with your helpers.  Focus consistently and act frequently every day toward the inner vision that you know is real and that you keep your  sight constantly upon. You’re closer now than yesterday. You’re never any steps backwards. If you learn anything from what you think is a slip, then you have succeeded with another step and you continue to succeed by continuing.  It’s the one life we get here on this beautiful world of possibilities and wonder. Keep on going. Keep on moving. Keep on holding the hands of those who love and encourage you.

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KEYS By David R. Otey

Keys can be physical keys to push into locks, or groups of notes on a piano top. They are main points in a lecture or book, or a main speaker in a convention. “The keep point is…”, the speaker says, meaning the “one thing” that will get you blessed. Keys open the box of understanding. Key stones hold the arch together, pressure coming from both side,  meeting in the center, leaning from each side on a key stone which becomes the strongest stone-maybe. Keys are the dots of a dot to dot, the border pieces of a puzzle, the spices in a meal, the hooks of songs, the sight, sound, taste, smell or touch that inspires an idea or an action toward a major decision that sparks a major shift in one’s life. Trust is a key. Loyalty is a key. devotion is a key. Faith is a key. Hope, love, patience, honesty, one more chance–these are all keys. Keys open opportunities, connect to the next step of a forward journey, give light in dark moments, become landmarks of confidence and security. People are keys to each other. The key people in your life are dependable, forgiving to a reasonable degree and the greatest support group for your personal growth and survival in life.  For every dream there is a key to connect you. So keep dreaming and keep growing.

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BREAKING BITTERNESS BLUES–By David Reid Otey

Feeling jilted, cheated, rejected, deceived, fooled, taken advantage of, used, wasted, tossed aside and more tends to give the impression that a part of our lives was not real, not truthful, not part of the destiny we deserve and should have had. Suddenly pages of a story were ripped out and there’s that void that makes the before and after senseless, unconnected. So one choice is to feel bitter, like a sliver never left our skin, like a piece of lemon is still stuck in the gums and never loses its bite. For awhile, that’s normal, inevitable and part of honest and real healing. Bitterness is the antibodies to close up the wound even if a scar is left. What’s hard for some is to let go of the bitterness after the closure has been made and is obvious to all around. Our friends, if not our families, are often a fair gauge of when life should be changing for us–meaning letting us know when we must start changing our behaviors a bit toward positive “over it, sort of” actions.

The part of life that’s painful is not a waste. It is still very useful and very much a part of connecting who we were before and who we are after the fact. We love to read of character’s hard time actions in novels. No action, boring book. But it’s a different story in our lives. It’s usually never chosen. It’s just a result of human interactions and, in some cases, slowly developing maturity for some that create the circumstances for a dire situation.  We should become more interesting people and wiser from the experience. I believe most of us do. It’s always choice, you know, for how long and how intense to  make the bad times roll.

So, do yourself a life-saving favor. Pick a specific time limit for the bitterness mode, and maybe even have a party with friends and you all share  stories. 🙂   Sincerely, David R. Otey