Just Five By David Reid Otey

I spent too much time with the electronic waste land, again: Facebook (after the important parts of family and friend news), Yahoo news-getting tired of being sad and angry at what they present in negatives, and the sideline garbage and sales pitches. We’re too often infatuated with being fascinated, like the pirates opening every trunk they find hoping to finally gain great treasure and Nirvana.

But the deep interest/ talent side of my mind was consistently calling me, like the rotating beam of a light house,  to ”come play with us”. I heard another call from there, looked at the clock, sighed at another ”fallen” section of time passed, and then heard another voice attached, no doubt, to the talent side, that said, ” just do one minute of the self-defense exercise. Just one minute.” I did, and during that minute decided to do another and another for four minutes. I felt very good. So, I walked into the kitchen to shrink the sink full of dishes. This time, though, I said to myself, “do just five minutes, since it’s late.” I set the stop watch on my cell phone and placed it inside the open spatula drawer where I could see it and keep it dry. I thought of positive events of the day as I washed, and peeked at the timer after each glass or plate. Five minutes was almost up, but I felt like doing ” a few more” and continued. My thoughts took over the time watching and soon I noticed I was in the twenty minute range. I was close to a perfectly clean sink so I finished all of the dishes and then wiped the counter until 25 minutes appeared. Then I stopped.

I’ve done this before occasionally with regard to my music and journal writing. If I renew this practice as a daily keystone habit then I can dive into my talent projects quicker. It is difficult to avoid distractions when I think of my projects as needing a half hour to accomplish anything. Distractions, by nature, are “just for a minute” attractions to start with, and we all know how easily those minutes add up to an hour and more. So I can control those time slips by consciously and purposely setting ”Just One” or “Just Five” minutes to a talent project.

I already know the exponential power of any action taken on a consistent basis. I’ve experienced that often and it is a great feeling. Continuity is the next phase I need to master with regard to my talent projects. I’m getting there and with writing this I can help insure my commitment to the daily practice of “Just Five”.  Time to go now. END

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WHICH CHAIR AM I SITTING IN ? By David Reid Otey

The challenge to successfully change any part of my life has been difficult. After trying my own ideas over and over again and discovering that I was limited on options of imagination for whatever reason, I sat down trying to figure out another method of getting more ideas. What I finally decided to do, which was the right thing to do, was start listening to other people who shared ideas on how to change. I watched videos on Youtube and then used inter-library loan service to check out the speaker’s books. I bought a handful of the 25 plus books I read and took notes on.

I would try each idea, memorizing a short title phrase to remind me of the purpose and action of the idea. Then I would practice mental focus and physical action of that idea. I could feel the change of mind frame within me and the  strengthening of my confidence and happiness.  I could see the changes on the outside, too, as my choices of action led me a different direction with better results  being produced in the areas I aimed for.

But there was a constant fight of mental control against the conditioned distractions, against the conditioned ”stops” in my mind. I would always end up settling back in the chair of self-defeat—less and less, but still extremely annoying to feel and give in  to when I knew what I wanted to do and I had already been successful to a point, and yet for some reason I was being pulled back by the hands of something into  sitting down and giving up action. Instead I’d be watching tv, cleaning constantly and brooding through melancholy space outs.

More and more I’ve been gaining ground in controlling more of my focus and purposeful action time. The latest idea I adopted this past week is to think of myself sitting in different chairs. I have my ”daily work”chair for my day job as a teacher. I have my ”relationships” chair for family and friends. I have the ”body care” chair for my health. I have my ”soul/spirit” chair for my prayer and meditation time. Then I have my personal growth chairs: ”Martial Arts Class/Women’s Self-Defense (WSD)”,  ”Song performance/guitar practice”, “Songwriter”, and “Blog Posts for sharing thoughts and helping others”.

The trick is to consciously switch from one chair to another without too much of a mentally distracting walk  between the chairs. Every endeavor is made up of brain time and body time. Brain time for reflection, meditation and planning. Body time for the physical connections to the responsibilities and dreams planned.

When I’m driving home I can talk through the next WSD class plan, or I can listen to the music on the radio to focus on lyrics and melody and rhythm. I use the mornings for my prayer and mind frames drills, starting before getting out of bed. So I have developed a plan to solidify. It feels good to see how a certain automation takes over once the ball is rolling. For example: At work this week I accomplished more by starting with strong focus on lining up a specific lesson and the kids involvement. At a certain point of the lesson, when they’re working on their own, I realized I could work on part of another task and I did. After work, before going to a private TKD lesson, I realized I could stop to visit two businesses I had to see about a project of mine. I did that, leaving school when I could, instead of hanging around an extra fifteen minutes waiting for the clock to get closer to my lesson.  What surprised me was the friendly prodding voice in my mind pushing me with confidence to act right away, not in fear and not with a rush, but with consistency.

I have to accept that working on every piece of a plan, even if it’s only a small piece, whenever I can is important. Each piece is like a brick for a sturdy road. I must be satisfied with having any time at all even for just one brick, instead of waiting around until I can impress myself by doing three or more bricks worth and then patting myself on the back to say THAT was a great leap. Waiting for LEAP moments make a project wait for long to forever to maybe never getting done. The LITTLE STEPS are always the power builders. Believing that is not easy. Ego is tough to redefine into ”bad ego” and ”good ego”.  The same goes for the word ”Obsession”. I decided there is ”good obsession” and ”bad obsession”. So I try to be obsessed for the good side.

The last thing to share in this piece is that I had to break a usual pattern of work then home then just relax and do whatever until bed time and go to sleep, wasting time. I am tired at early night and would often stay awake until ten o’clock or so because , ”I’m not old. I’m not gonna lay down this early. That’s ridiculous !” BUT then I realized I thrive and produce better planning and better product when refreshed and when the environment is quiet. So, I come home, visit and eat supper with my wife, watch a half hour of tv with her and then take a nap for 30-60 minutes. Up again, she’s still awake, too. I visit a bit and then get started on my dream goals steps. When she goes to bed I have my totally silent time in the front room for up to two hours. I am patiently striving to make this happen on a seven day basis rather than the three or four I do now. I’ll get there. I’m obsessed to do so. 🙂  END

 

 

 

This Kind of Change. By David Otey

The mind is the number one control center. The programming starts from day one, coming out to join the world. For many years the brains of us have been soaking up understandings through what we’re told, what our senses bring in and what we think looks and feels good enough to give room to. We won’t know for a long time how much of our programmings are really mis-understandings.

We figure out what’s what, as we lose money, friends, time, respect, spouses, material possessions, an arm or a leg, any sort of loss that grabs us deep with the fact that we have reached a point of no return. We can’t go back, turn back the clock, get a fifteenth chance. It becomes the fork road, cross road and only one of them is open. And we already know, because we can feel it and even see some of it within sight on the only road open to us, that it’s going to be hard like we’ve never known. It’s time to change from what we were to what we must become, to not have to repeat the same losses all over again with the new acquirements. To hold onto the people and good that came from the right choices and understandings.

This kind of change is like trying to rub off ten years of rust with a fine. smooth cloth. Beliefs settled deep struggle to hold on like someone clutching to a cliff edge. The battle to change is slow and difficult. But it is possible and becomes successful because of the constant forward sight of  why we’re changing by our own will, and the difference we know it will make, the difference it already makes as we feel stronger, more confident and happier step by step. Like the marathon swimmer seeing the shore line, then feeling the sand beneath and finally trudging through the heavy steps in water onto the lighter steps on the beach to the joy of arriving totally on the land.  The little deeply felt rewards along the way are the extra energy bars to encourage and fuel the next step of the journey.

One defense used by old limiting beliefs and old enslaving thoughts, to fight to stay in our  minds, is to use defeating thoughts of shame, of time and our age being too late to change, of trying to convince us that we don’t really belong, that we’re just fooling ourselves, that others are laughing at our attempts to join a part and level of life meant only for others. These type of doubts are the small mountains to climb up and over, the potholes to climb up and out of, like the character in the book, The Pilgrims Progress. Life is meant for growth which means for changing into stronger and wiser spirits, to become greater givers and healers, more like flowers and less like weeds.

The anger and shame and fears in life are mostly the results of failed change attempts, of those being in too tight a bondage and to weak to look outward for the help of others reaching to grasp their hands and help pull them up and out of their despair. Convincing ourselves alone is almost impossible. We do need others. We need the help and words and hugs and encouragement of those already standing where we want to stand. Community has always been the strength of the strongest, the best, the wisest, the builders and maintainers of all that is right and good and happy and true.

If you’re on a journey of change right now, and you’re fighting the doubts that hammer away at your climbing successes, keep going, keep in constant communication with your helpers.  Focus consistently and act frequently every day toward the inner vision that you know is real and that you keep your  sight constantly upon. You’re closer now than yesterday. You’re never any steps backwards. If you learn anything from what you think is a slip, then you have succeeded with another step and you continue to succeed by continuing.  It’s the one life we get here on this beautiful world of possibilities and wonder. Keep on going. Keep on moving. Keep on holding the hands of those who love and encourage you.

WHY ? By David Reid Otey

Why did I do what I did ?  Why did I say what I did ?

Actions and reactions, for reasons based on beliefs about ourselves and the world, push us up and down, forward and backward, into something and out of something.

Living is choosing an action or a reaction toward something or someone. We want the happy things, happy people, happy places and happy activities.

Life is that experiment of events chosen by us or forced upon us that is sometimes a struggle and sometimes a fortunate ”right” move.

Why we choose whatever we choose depends upon free will, opportunities from connections, a calling of some sort, either from outside or inside of us.

Why ? because of love, of fear, of desperation, of shame, of loneliness, of hopefulness, of a helping hand, of another chance, of needing to save this only life we know and want to enjoy.

If I ask myself every morning , “why am I going to do, to go, to commit, to involve myself in what I plan for today ?”, I might have a clearer vision of awareness and of where the control of and for my life really comes from: within me and my choices for life, or from someone else tactfully manipulating my time and life for their gains and dreams.

The end.