Feeling jilted, cheated, rejected, deceived, fooled, taken advantage of, used, wasted, tossed aside and more tends to give the impression that a part of our lives was not real, not truthful, not part of the destiny we deserve and should have had. Suddenly pages of a story were ripped out and there’s that void that makes the before and after senseless, unconnected. So one choice is to feel bitter, like a sliver never left our skin, like a piece of lemon is still stuck in the gums and never loses its bite. For awhile, that’s normal, inevitable and part of honest and real healing. Bitterness is the antibodies to close up the wound even if a scar is left. What’s hard for some is to let go of the bitterness after the closure has been made and is obvious to all around. Our friends, if not our families, are often a fair gauge of when life should be changing for us–meaning letting us know when we must start changing our behaviors a bit toward positive “over it, sort of” actions.
The part of life that’s painful is not a waste. It is still very useful and very much a part of connecting who we were before and who we are after the fact. We love to read of character’s hard time actions in novels. No action, boring book. But it’s a different story in our lives. It’s usually never chosen. It’s just a result of human interactions and, in some cases, slowly developing maturity for some that create the circumstances for a dire situation. We should become more interesting people and wiser from the experience. I believe most of us do. It’s always choice, you know, for how long and how intense to make the bad times roll.
So, do yourself a life-saving favor. Pick a specific time limit for the bitterness mode, and maybe even have a party with friends and you all share stories. 🙂 Sincerely, David R. Otey