Perseverance By David R, Otey

I wrote a piece recently about the struggle to accomplish any dream. A friend of mine commented with one word: perseverance. I sat looking at that word, sort of stunned because that was NOT my point at all. Perseverance was not the same thing I was attempting to describe. I was not upset with the one word comment but it revealed to me that I missed the clear communication goal.

It is too easy to say to someone, “you simply must persevere, never give up, keep on going, no matter what befalls you, regardless the storms and tempests,…..”. To say that to anyone is giving a quick pseudo-shallow cheer leading phrase. It lacks the depth of HOW do you persevere. THAT’s the challenge. What does it take to overcome the deeply inset beliefs to stop, to quit, to hold off, to give up, to think too long about something before acting upon it.  Many people have been consistently leashed by comments from their family and relatives. As one phrase goes, sort of: a prophet has no honor in his own country. Dragged through consistent doubt in all phases of childhood, and seeing consistent examples of quitting, complaining and moving away to “greener pastures”  (until it’s time to mow the lawn) from family members solidifies and enhances a weak will power.

Time goes by though and the calling from that natural talent and desire begins to scream for existence, for a place and space in the tangible world, to be seen, felt, understood, accepted and included into the lives of others. If the weak willed person has enough intelligence and drive to connect to people of strong will who share the same dreams and goals, then the healing and strengthening of that will can happen.

Perseverance comes from a trained mindset, unless one is born extremely stubborn and perhaps extrmely self-centered to the point of making darn sure they get their way no matter what.  Perseverance requires believing you deserve what you want to have or to be. Perseverance requires a positive obsession of completing the steps of every plan as soon as possible. Perseverance, for many of us, must be introduced to our personalities, to our subconscious, to our inner belief system by someone else who knows how it all works. Whether by accident or providence, we must connect with that aura, spirit and faith of perseverance. Then we will be able to do it and bring the dream to the table of life.   End.

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When the Sun comes up. By Dave R. Otey

When the sun comes up the day is bright again. The paths are clear to see. The directions are easy to choose, the potholes and rough spots are easy to avoid. Clarity makes peace and progress possible and definite.  We have our sights set clear and wide, to change our directions to a happier life. Until the next set of clouds that form a storm that makes a darkness and a mood forlorn,

I wonder many times where the clouds come from: the ones within ourselves. What wind brings them in and how are they formed ? What sight or smell, or sound or touch, or taste can turn around our state of mind from joy to fear, from confidence to doubt, to hiding inside instead of going out ?  What pain within gives rise to pointing and yelling instead of finding the way to resolve whatever we think or know is the cause ? What makes us forget the peace and good we have to turn away into self-pity and spiritual depression ?

Hope is happy, the promise of a chance to see life get better, to feel connected to others who care and are waiting to give. Hope connects to the HOW TO, for knowledge of the steps to make, when and where. Hope points out the beliefs that must change to form the right empowering thoughts that must be focused on to provide the guiding insights that energize the desire and drive to confidently commit to the actions that are the steps from where you are to where you want to be.

Where does the rising sun of hope come from? From the right questions.  Why am I off the path of confidence and happiness ?  What needs to change ? What did I say or do that took me off the path ? What do I need to say and do to get back on the path ?  Is there anything I need to stop doing, to stop saying to myself and others to make that shift back onto the path ?  Who must I connect with to help me ?

Life is much better with good wise friends and sometimes strangers God provides along the way to help ”see” what we missed along the way and show us what we need to realign our spirits with peace and happiness.  Who are your sun rays of HOPE ?  Who are YOU a sun ray of hope for ?   Keep the lights shining every chance you get. Make every day glow for others and yourself.    End.

This never ends. By Dave R. Otey

This will never end. The hate based on color, on entitlement, on size and shape, height, weight, clothing styles, hair styles, choice of spiritual faith, mental capabilities and more.  Someone somewhere is chosen to be a scapegoat for the lacks and/ or failures of others. There seems to be a world wide need to have some group to point to and say, “You are the reason my life is in the pits. You are the fault of the pains and terrors I face. You are the cause holding me back from the life of perfection and life of purity in wealth, joy and happiness I must have.”

Slowly, in different places and at different times there are laws made to control the hate, to push back the line, to make freedoms increase for all. But it will never go away. Hate will always find a place to go, always find some weak willed minds and greedy hearts to infect. That is a reality forever existing, and all I need to do is be aware that I stay in tune with my own feelings and my own ”moments” when I might want to blame someone else for any reason for something that is MY responsibility.

I do not worry about the world falling apart. Every puzzle has cracks. None of the pieces are one hundred percent fitting. Challenges happen every day, big or small. Challenges mean changes and we DO have some control over the changes in our lives by how we respond to the challenges we face. Understanding where the challenges come from is a necessary beginning to knowing which steps to take for separating from a  painful situation or how to change the conditions and circumstances that make up the situation.  In my training as a volunteer for CASA–Court Appointed Special Advocate for children– we learned 5 Conflict Resolution Strategies that I say as part of a personal growth drill every day. Avoid, Compete, Harmonize, Compromise, Collaborate. This is the list from weakest strategy to strongest. Sometimes none of them work, and in that case the best action is to MOVE away from the person or place where all the pain is pooling.

I know and understand prejudice, bias, whatever other names label this divisive mindset.  I understand it is wise of me to be careful, if I have to drive through certain places or if I get lost and find myself in an OBVIOUS environment I don’t instantly fit in with. I am wise enough to know how to walk and talk and how to make a peaceful physical presence. I am friendly with everyone but sometimes and in some places it is best to just stay quiet and do whatever business you have to do and leave. In some places, if locals notice you definitely are not from around their area, you might be approached by a helpful person or by someone targeting you for money or a game.

I am sixty years old. I thought and believed naively for a long time that my generation got to see the end of the serious physical attacks of prejudice. Sure, life has become better with more open doors for unity and harmony and climbing up a social and economic and political ladder for personal and community success. But I see now that history changes not so much in ”final” points reached. It changes more in ”steps” slowly walked in  a state of extreme caution, making certain the step is solid and cannot slip back before going on to the next step.  Some places will not allow advanced steps beyond a certain point so the people who want the advanced steps must move to the places that do allow it.  Crazy, nutty world.

The most peacefully integrated arena in the whole world–still not 100% perfect within itself either but higher than anywhere else–is the arena of creative arts. The arts exist for all humankind. There one can express the thoughts, feelings, dreams, horrors, tragedies, pains, pleasures; every human experience and plea, and know there is an audience who gains comfort and understanding and sometimes courage and empowerment from what is seen, felt and hear and tasted in the arena of art. It also has its dangers to watch out for, if someone is offended. But life still goes on.

The greatest power each of us possess is to make sure the hatred ends within each of our own spirits and souls, ends within our own homes, our own neighborhoods, our own towns, our own family reunions, anyplace and everyplace we stand to talk and act.  Be the peaceful and understanding person where we are.   End.

How serious is this problem ? By David Reid Otey

We have a problem, or do we ?  Maybe it’s only an inconvenience magnified by the fact that we hate  to be stopped to give extra thought to just about anything. Maybe we expect life to go continuously smooth on the basis of  feeling we deserve it that way.

Intensity, frustration, concern, doubt, fear–all of this stuff is prime plot material in movies and television shows, and many of us give ourselves a constant diet of this mind frame. It must affect us in some ways that are unhealthy for us. We live in a consistently electronic world where even programmed peace on television is interrupted by commercials. We are often subtly conditioned to interrupt our own thoughts, to train ourselves to be distracted on a schedule, tired of anything and everything after fifteen minutes, ready to make excuses every half hour to avoid and escape from anyone or anything.

One remedy is to try controlling  everything. Controlling our time, our thoughts, our actions, our plans, our steps to our dreams, our moments of breathing, talking and walking is a great demand upon our minds, bodies and spiritual sense. Where is the “surprise” in life going to take place with such watchful eyes upon every second, every person, every sound and movement?

Being aware and present is the most necessary factor to having ”sane” control: the kind of control which means we can 95% of the time respond correctly, appropriately and quickly to any frustrating or dangerous situation. Response is the key to control. We can have thoughtful responses based upon ability to predict points of interruptions, from inside or outside of us. Choosing planned times to focus on the steps of what is most important in our lives maintains the frequent and steady consistency needed for progress.

Maybe a problem belongs to someone else, who wants that problem to also belong to us with equal concern, intensity and time involvement. Maybe we choose to include ourselves in someone else’s problem of their making, to be a hero. Every problem needs three basic elements: time to analyze causes and solutions (which can take 2-4 hours average), comfort from friends and family (which can take from 2-4 hours), and action/response (which is up to the person who must do that part).

The time we take to involve ourselves in other’s problems must be given a specific and reasonable time limit. The comforting element has a purpose of building hope and confidence for the person to be able to make the chosen response. Dragging on this part of the process leads to codependency and helplessness, and will take time away from our own life needs.

Maybe the problems are not even ours to personally worry about. Wars and atrocities in other countries should not worry us, if we do not live anywhere near them. We can empathize with their needs. We can pray for them to resolve and reconnect in peace. We can donate money to funds targeted for their reliefs. We can prepare for how those events might affect some elements of our lives in our own country. In cases of other places being devastated by storms, we can travel there to be part of comfort and clean up if that’s part of our personal life goals. The point here is to stay away from an “end of the world” worrisome mindset. “End of the world” scenarios and media hype have been around for eons. We do our best in this world by staying focused on where we are, on what we dream to do, and on the steps of those dream goals along with our necessary daily needs.  Don’t worry, be aware.  Don’t worry, be focused. Don’t worry, be happy.  🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WHICH CHAIR AM I SITTING IN ? By David Reid Otey

The challenge to successfully change any part of my life has been difficult. After trying my own ideas over and over again and discovering that I was limited on options of imagination for whatever reason, I sat down trying to figure out another method of getting more ideas. What I finally decided to do, which was the right thing to do, was start listening to other people who shared ideas on how to change. I watched videos on Youtube and then used inter-library loan service to check out the speaker’s books. I bought a handful of the 25 plus books I read and took notes on.

I would try each idea, memorizing a short title phrase to remind me of the purpose and action of the idea. Then I would practice mental focus and physical action of that idea. I could feel the change of mind frame within me and the  strengthening of my confidence and happiness.  I could see the changes on the outside, too, as my choices of action led me a different direction with better results  being produced in the areas I aimed for.

But there was a constant fight of mental control against the conditioned distractions, against the conditioned ”stops” in my mind. I would always end up settling back in the chair of self-defeat—less and less, but still extremely annoying to feel and give in  to when I knew what I wanted to do and I had already been successful to a point, and yet for some reason I was being pulled back by the hands of something into  sitting down and giving up action. Instead I’d be watching tv, cleaning constantly and brooding through melancholy space outs.

More and more I’ve been gaining ground in controlling more of my focus and purposeful action time. The latest idea I adopted this past week is to think of myself sitting in different chairs. I have my ”daily work”chair for my day job as a teacher. I have my ”relationships” chair for family and friends. I have the ”body care” chair for my health. I have my ”soul/spirit” chair for my prayer and meditation time. Then I have my personal growth chairs: ”Martial Arts Class/Women’s Self-Defense (WSD)”,  ”Song performance/guitar practice”, “Songwriter”, and “Blog Posts for sharing thoughts and helping others”.

The trick is to consciously switch from one chair to another without too much of a mentally distracting walk  between the chairs. Every endeavor is made up of brain time and body time. Brain time for reflection, meditation and planning. Body time for the physical connections to the responsibilities and dreams planned.

When I’m driving home I can talk through the next WSD class plan, or I can listen to the music on the radio to focus on lyrics and melody and rhythm. I use the mornings for my prayer and mind frames drills, starting before getting out of bed. So I have developed a plan to solidify. It feels good to see how a certain automation takes over once the ball is rolling. For example: At work this week I accomplished more by starting with strong focus on lining up a specific lesson and the kids involvement. At a certain point of the lesson, when they’re working on their own, I realized I could work on part of another task and I did. After work, before going to a private TKD lesson, I realized I could stop to visit two businesses I had to see about a project of mine. I did that, leaving school when I could, instead of hanging around an extra fifteen minutes waiting for the clock to get closer to my lesson.  What surprised me was the friendly prodding voice in my mind pushing me with confidence to act right away, not in fear and not with a rush, but with consistency.

I have to accept that working on every piece of a plan, even if it’s only a small piece, whenever I can is important. Each piece is like a brick for a sturdy road. I must be satisfied with having any time at all even for just one brick, instead of waiting around until I can impress myself by doing three or more bricks worth and then patting myself on the back to say THAT was a great leap. Waiting for LEAP moments make a project wait for long to forever to maybe never getting done. The LITTLE STEPS are always the power builders. Believing that is not easy. Ego is tough to redefine into ”bad ego” and ”good ego”.  The same goes for the word ”Obsession”. I decided there is ”good obsession” and ”bad obsession”. So I try to be obsessed for the good side.

The last thing to share in this piece is that I had to break a usual pattern of work then home then just relax and do whatever until bed time and go to sleep, wasting time. I am tired at early night and would often stay awake until ten o’clock or so because , ”I’m not old. I’m not gonna lay down this early. That’s ridiculous !” BUT then I realized I thrive and produce better planning and better product when refreshed and when the environment is quiet. So, I come home, visit and eat supper with my wife, watch a half hour of tv with her and then take a nap for 30-60 minutes. Up again, she’s still awake, too. I visit a bit and then get started on my dream goals steps. When she goes to bed I have my totally silent time in the front room for up to two hours. I am patiently striving to make this happen on a seven day basis rather than the three or four I do now. I’ll get there. I’m obsessed to do so. 🙂  END

 

 

 

Kids are NOT Pill Boxes. By David Reid Otey

Kids are NOT Pill Boxes. By David Reid Otey

Pill boxes are nice for organizing the right pills for the right days and for the right times. This ensures having exactly what you need when you need it and in the right amount you need. There is no creativity involved in the process. It is cut and dry, simple as pie, easy as a straight line. Structure IS important for specific ultra sensitive issues such as medical needs and physical therapy and making healthy safe meals. Each of these areas have detailed task analysis, proven action-reaction relationships, undoubtable proven results from definite combinations of elements with very predictable expectations. BUT-kids are not THOSE kind of elements.

Kids are human beings. The variations of human beings cannot be simply classified by IQ, environment, heredity, neighborhood, county, state, country, continent nor economic status. The results of human reactions to thousands of variables have shown that one can always expect to be shocked and surprised at the predictable unpredictability of human beings. Senseless things can be of the upmost importance, like the songs, Red Solo Cup, and What does the Fox say. Humans shake their heads at each other, wondering if we as a species are going forwards or backwards, or maybe in consistent circles.

The attempts of government are to try really, really hard to force our species into some sort of straight line of great intellect and common sense, to save us from killing ourselves off or from making too many idiotic choices that could turn all of humanity upside down and drive us all back into caves. Standards have been the main chosen route to gauge the success of anything. Set a standard and make tests that match. Then make matching curriculums and the trio of success is certain. God bless the trinity of standards-test-curriculums. Great money maker, for sure. Great way to shake up a country into a state of confusion. While the public scrambles to deal with the pain and shell switch tactics being forced upon them, making them look the other way, government leaders associated with related businesses, who see the opportunities here, quickly make their moves for their own benefits.

I teach for a living. My occupation is steeped in absurdity. That means we are already working in a consistent fog. It is hard for us to see who is sneaking in to do us more harm than good. It’s never boring, that’s for certain. But it is very frustrating many times because the power we think we really have as teachers is only half as much as we are told. That’s ok, I guess. Because the real leaders of how things turn out are those little people sitting in the desks. You can try any trick you want. They all work for awhile, until the kids figure out the game—which their minds are always looking for–and then sabotage reigns.  Bandaid after bandaid, meaning standards after standards, cover a wound too deep to ever heal. I know this because I’ve watched the history of this nonsense. The government cannot apply the real medicine because of human unpredictability. Most of all the government cannot apply the medicine needed because it would mean losing their power, their hold over the districts monies, their demand to force education to be 99% College and University directed with no other equally viable alternatives. Absurdity Prime. Kind of like a game character isn’t it ?   End

The Mother Land ?–The United States Of America. By David Reid Otey

First of all, I am a teacher. I am very good at what I do because, so far, I have the freedom to teach according to my gifts of understanding, connecting, guiding, helping kids to see their gifts and enlightening, encouraging and empowering them to become the “real” them instead of a merely cloned worker of whatever anyone else may want them to become. But I wonder how long even I can be myself, using my  gifts the way I know they must be used, teaching with MY talents to see what must happen next according to the scope and sequence combined with the emotional and psychological make up of my students.

This push for a national standard system so that every single kid in the good ole’ U.S.A. will be “learning” exactly the same things at the same time all over this grand country of “individual freedom” strikes me as a paradox. Is the idea supposed to be that if every kid has the exact same standards and every teacher has to teach “according to the tests” which is what really happens here, then the whole nation will be saved from the fears of poverty and idiocy ?  Hmmmmm.

What does individual freedom mean in this case ?  Are we going to blame all the teachers of this country for the increasing poverty and idiocy reported by media ?  What about families who choose drug addiction and all types of abuse within their families to frustrate their own children with a life of fear and anger ? Does this count anywhere in the equation or are teachers to blame for that, too ?

Is college education –“college readiness” the only important target for defining the purpose and direction of education ?  Is this whole ploy a market saving scheme, to save colleges from losing their usefulness in a world that increasingly depends upon entrepreneurship, active, experimental, useful, consistently creative imagination gained more from apprenticeship within such companies who themselves teach what they want their employees to do ?  “College Readiness” is no longer the best  direction to aim for.  How about Life Readiness ? Where are the standards that stress money management, first aid, family planning, job skills (of which homework and class room ass-sitting have nothing in common with), talents development, community service, personal psychological and emotional development, making sure every kid can swim and more ?

This push of Common Core States Standards is taking out a middle ground , an island of safety for children, forcing more pain and confusion, increasing lack of hope for dreams of talented people who could really turn this country around if given the reigns to aim their own talents in the directions they have the gift to see for themselves. If we keep allowing this to grow and take over our states, will we be courting the same disastrous results as some other nations where some higher grade students commit suicide over the pressure of trying to prove themselves “worthy” of the mother land ?

The “real” progress we seek for our children and for the future of our country’s positive growth will come ONLY FROM enhanced OPPORTUNITIES for personal growth in the talents through the public education system. The truth of educational growth NEVER HAS BEEN the state standards. It’s been the Parents Standards and the Student’s Personal Standards. What a shame this country is now embracing the “one size fits all” mentality–and to the tune of the billions of dollars it costs for the production of the NEW standards supplemented by the NEW tests and NEW curriculums that all of the state enforced cooperating school districts must pay for  out of their own pockets when their own states hold back the financial support already owed to their school districts.   Yes, what a trick of the old con game genre to make someone believe that if they eat this one pill they will become ten times smarter. On and on and on it goes. How far will the people of the U.S.A. let this one go ? No one knows. BUT I can tell you WHO will make the final decision. It will be THE KIDS. I am a teacher, and the greatest barrier that I can NEVER beat is when a totally frustrated child stops working, stops trying, pushes the paper and pencil to the floor and lays his head on the desk or simply walks out. he might just look up at me and say, “Make ME Do It.” It is a challenging thing for me at 60 years of age to see the lunacy of our country’s leaders allowing this sort of con game to be played on their people, their populace who voted for them.  Time will tell how far this “Mother Land” concept will go. I hope the parents and the children rise up and show the spirit this country stands for, that “independent” right of each state to run its own show in education.   The End.