Just Five By David Reid Otey

I spent too much time with the electronic waste land, again: Facebook (after the important parts of family and friend news), Yahoo news-getting tired of being sad and angry at what they present in negatives, and the sideline garbage and sales pitches. We’re too often infatuated with being fascinated, like the pirates opening every trunk they find hoping to finally gain great treasure and Nirvana.

But the deep interest/ talent side of my mind was consistently calling me, like the rotating beam of a light house,  to ”come play with us”. I heard another call from there, looked at the clock, sighed at another ”fallen” section of time passed, and then heard another voice attached, no doubt, to the talent side, that said, ” just do one minute of the self-defense exercise. Just one minute.” I did, and during that minute decided to do another and another for four minutes. I felt very good. So, I walked into the kitchen to shrink the sink full of dishes. This time, though, I said to myself, “do just five minutes, since it’s late.” I set the stop watch on my cell phone and placed it inside the open spatula drawer where I could see it and keep it dry. I thought of positive events of the day as I washed, and peeked at the timer after each glass or plate. Five minutes was almost up, but I felt like doing ” a few more” and continued. My thoughts took over the time watching and soon I noticed I was in the twenty minute range. I was close to a perfectly clean sink so I finished all of the dishes and then wiped the counter until 25 minutes appeared. Then I stopped.

I’ve done this before occasionally with regard to my music and journal writing. If I renew this practice as a daily keystone habit then I can dive into my talent projects quicker. It is difficult to avoid distractions when I think of my projects as needing a half hour to accomplish anything. Distractions, by nature, are “just for a minute” attractions to start with, and we all know how easily those minutes add up to an hour and more. So I can control those time slips by consciously and purposely setting ”Just One” or “Just Five” minutes to a talent project.

I already know the exponential power of any action taken on a consistent basis. I’ve experienced that often and it is a great feeling. Continuity is the next phase I need to master with regard to my talent projects. I’m getting there and with writing this I can help insure my commitment to the daily practice of “Just Five”.  Time to go now. END

When the Sun comes up. By Dave R. Otey

When the sun comes up the day is bright again. The paths are clear to see. The directions are easy to choose, the potholes and rough spots are easy to avoid. Clarity makes peace and progress possible and definite.  We have our sights set clear and wide, to change our directions to a happier life. Until the next set of clouds that form a storm that makes a darkness and a mood forlorn,

I wonder many times where the clouds come from: the ones within ourselves. What wind brings them in and how are they formed ? What sight or smell, or sound or touch, or taste can turn around our state of mind from joy to fear, from confidence to doubt, to hiding inside instead of going out ?  What pain within gives rise to pointing and yelling instead of finding the way to resolve whatever we think or know is the cause ? What makes us forget the peace and good we have to turn away into self-pity and spiritual depression ?

Hope is happy, the promise of a chance to see life get better, to feel connected to others who care and are waiting to give. Hope connects to the HOW TO, for knowledge of the steps to make, when and where. Hope points out the beliefs that must change to form the right empowering thoughts that must be focused on to provide the guiding insights that energize the desire and drive to confidently commit to the actions that are the steps from where you are to where you want to be.

Where does the rising sun of hope come from? From the right questions.  Why am I off the path of confidence and happiness ?  What needs to change ? What did I say or do that took me off the path ? What do I need to say and do to get back on the path ?  Is there anything I need to stop doing, to stop saying to myself and others to make that shift back onto the path ?  Who must I connect with to help me ?

Life is much better with good wise friends and sometimes strangers God provides along the way to help ”see” what we missed along the way and show us what we need to realign our spirits with peace and happiness.  Who are your sun rays of HOPE ?  Who are YOU a sun ray of hope for ?   Keep the lights shining every chance you get. Make every day glow for others and yourself.    End.

How serious is this problem ? By David Reid Otey

We have a problem, or do we ?  Maybe it’s only an inconvenience magnified by the fact that we hate  to be stopped to give extra thought to just about anything. Maybe we expect life to go continuously smooth on the basis of  feeling we deserve it that way.

Intensity, frustration, concern, doubt, fear–all of this stuff is prime plot material in movies and television shows, and many of us give ourselves a constant diet of this mind frame. It must affect us in some ways that are unhealthy for us. We live in a consistently electronic world where even programmed peace on television is interrupted by commercials. We are often subtly conditioned to interrupt our own thoughts, to train ourselves to be distracted on a schedule, tired of anything and everything after fifteen minutes, ready to make excuses every half hour to avoid and escape from anyone or anything.

One remedy is to try controlling  everything. Controlling our time, our thoughts, our actions, our plans, our steps to our dreams, our moments of breathing, talking and walking is a great demand upon our minds, bodies and spiritual sense. Where is the “surprise” in life going to take place with such watchful eyes upon every second, every person, every sound and movement?

Being aware and present is the most necessary factor to having ”sane” control: the kind of control which means we can 95% of the time respond correctly, appropriately and quickly to any frustrating or dangerous situation. Response is the key to control. We can have thoughtful responses based upon ability to predict points of interruptions, from inside or outside of us. Choosing planned times to focus on the steps of what is most important in our lives maintains the frequent and steady consistency needed for progress.

Maybe a problem belongs to someone else, who wants that problem to also belong to us with equal concern, intensity and time involvement. Maybe we choose to include ourselves in someone else’s problem of their making, to be a hero. Every problem needs three basic elements: time to analyze causes and solutions (which can take 2-4 hours average), comfort from friends and family (which can take from 2-4 hours), and action/response (which is up to the person who must do that part).

The time we take to involve ourselves in other’s problems must be given a specific and reasonable time limit. The comforting element has a purpose of building hope and confidence for the person to be able to make the chosen response. Dragging on this part of the process leads to codependency and helplessness, and will take time away from our own life needs.

Maybe the problems are not even ours to personally worry about. Wars and atrocities in other countries should not worry us, if we do not live anywhere near them. We can empathize with their needs. We can pray for them to resolve and reconnect in peace. We can donate money to funds targeted for their reliefs. We can prepare for how those events might affect some elements of our lives in our own country. In cases of other places being devastated by storms, we can travel there to be part of comfort and clean up if that’s part of our personal life goals. The point here is to stay away from an “end of the world” worrisome mindset. “End of the world” scenarios and media hype have been around for eons. We do our best in this world by staying focused on where we are, on what we dream to do, and on the steps of those dream goals along with our necessary daily needs.  Don’t worry, be aware.  Don’t worry, be focused. Don’t worry, be happy.  🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WHICH CHAIR AM I SITTING IN ? By David Reid Otey

The challenge to successfully change any part of my life has been difficult. After trying my own ideas over and over again and discovering that I was limited on options of imagination for whatever reason, I sat down trying to figure out another method of getting more ideas. What I finally decided to do, which was the right thing to do, was start listening to other people who shared ideas on how to change. I watched videos on Youtube and then used inter-library loan service to check out the speaker’s books. I bought a handful of the 25 plus books I read and took notes on.

I would try each idea, memorizing a short title phrase to remind me of the purpose and action of the idea. Then I would practice mental focus and physical action of that idea. I could feel the change of mind frame within me and the  strengthening of my confidence and happiness.  I could see the changes on the outside, too, as my choices of action led me a different direction with better results  being produced in the areas I aimed for.

But there was a constant fight of mental control against the conditioned distractions, against the conditioned ”stops” in my mind. I would always end up settling back in the chair of self-defeat—less and less, but still extremely annoying to feel and give in  to when I knew what I wanted to do and I had already been successful to a point, and yet for some reason I was being pulled back by the hands of something into  sitting down and giving up action. Instead I’d be watching tv, cleaning constantly and brooding through melancholy space outs.

More and more I’ve been gaining ground in controlling more of my focus and purposeful action time. The latest idea I adopted this past week is to think of myself sitting in different chairs. I have my ”daily work”chair for my day job as a teacher. I have my ”relationships” chair for family and friends. I have the ”body care” chair for my health. I have my ”soul/spirit” chair for my prayer and meditation time. Then I have my personal growth chairs: ”Martial Arts Class/Women’s Self-Defense (WSD)”,  ”Song performance/guitar practice”, “Songwriter”, and “Blog Posts for sharing thoughts and helping others”.

The trick is to consciously switch from one chair to another without too much of a mentally distracting walk  between the chairs. Every endeavor is made up of brain time and body time. Brain time for reflection, meditation and planning. Body time for the physical connections to the responsibilities and dreams planned.

When I’m driving home I can talk through the next WSD class plan, or I can listen to the music on the radio to focus on lyrics and melody and rhythm. I use the mornings for my prayer and mind frames drills, starting before getting out of bed. So I have developed a plan to solidify. It feels good to see how a certain automation takes over once the ball is rolling. For example: At work this week I accomplished more by starting with strong focus on lining up a specific lesson and the kids involvement. At a certain point of the lesson, when they’re working on their own, I realized I could work on part of another task and I did. After work, before going to a private TKD lesson, I realized I could stop to visit two businesses I had to see about a project of mine. I did that, leaving school when I could, instead of hanging around an extra fifteen minutes waiting for the clock to get closer to my lesson.  What surprised me was the friendly prodding voice in my mind pushing me with confidence to act right away, not in fear and not with a rush, but with consistency.

I have to accept that working on every piece of a plan, even if it’s only a small piece, whenever I can is important. Each piece is like a brick for a sturdy road. I must be satisfied with having any time at all even for just one brick, instead of waiting around until I can impress myself by doing three or more bricks worth and then patting myself on the back to say THAT was a great leap. Waiting for LEAP moments make a project wait for long to forever to maybe never getting done. The LITTLE STEPS are always the power builders. Believing that is not easy. Ego is tough to redefine into ”bad ego” and ”good ego”.  The same goes for the word ”Obsession”. I decided there is ”good obsession” and ”bad obsession”. So I try to be obsessed for the good side.

The last thing to share in this piece is that I had to break a usual pattern of work then home then just relax and do whatever until bed time and go to sleep, wasting time. I am tired at early night and would often stay awake until ten o’clock or so because , ”I’m not old. I’m not gonna lay down this early. That’s ridiculous !” BUT then I realized I thrive and produce better planning and better product when refreshed and when the environment is quiet. So, I come home, visit and eat supper with my wife, watch a half hour of tv with her and then take a nap for 30-60 minutes. Up again, she’s still awake, too. I visit a bit and then get started on my dream goals steps. When she goes to bed I have my totally silent time in the front room for up to two hours. I am patiently striving to make this happen on a seven day basis rather than the three or four I do now. I’ll get there. I’m obsessed to do so. 🙂  END

 

 

 

WHERE AND HOW DO I FIT IN AROUND HERE ? BY DAVID REID OTEY

We have to be right about some things to feel qualified to exist. That is why frustration is so strong when we’re wrong. Belonging to life means belonging to other people. Most of that belonging is to “fit in”. We fit in with clothing style, hair style, language/lingo, body marks or lack of, tastes in food, literature, films, hang outs for social fellowship, points of view with a degree of individual differences allowed, as long as intelligent discussion can take place, AND with being recognized as “right” about ‘anything’ once in a while. It’s a praise to hear, “Well, yeah, you’re right about that.”, as a ‘just scraping by’ acceptance from a member of the group.

The ‘being right’ part is more important than the rest because it’s easy to change or excuse something about any of the other elements, but to NOT match in mental blend means one of two things: you really don’t belong in that group by nature of who you are–and therefore should get out and find the group you really do match with—OR you are labeled as the ‘joker’ card of the group—and that is a social death blow for continuous social contact because ‘invitations’ to special events will not reach the joker, thus being cut off, and that action will become common knowledge among others and will eventually lead to the ears of the joker who will then be depressed, etc. Bottom line, the joker card spot is never a permanent position for anyone. If the joker doesn’t leave by half-way intelligent free will, the group will make sure the door is closed with a subtle ‘shunning’. The subtle shunning is far worse than the “in your face” shunning. Direct insults are always better because you can yell back in their faces regardless of being wrong or right about it. At least you get the satisfaction of standing up to the ‘mean ones’. BUT subtle shunning is cruel and feels like a knife being slowly pushed in. NOT GOOD.

There is strong merit to this idea that we REALLY DO need to be right about a certain percentage of things in life, to feel that we have a right to exist at all. Belonging to people as a group is the purpose of existing, perhaps. This can explain the extreme inner spirit pain that so many feel to the point of committing suicide. They really feel that they do not belong, that they cannot be right about anything, or what they want to be right about. And maybe they do not want to belong to a different group.

Their (our) perspective of which groups are important is where the wiring might be a bit skewed, twisted, off set. We gain much of our “opinions” through conditioning of facts and fictions mixed. The conditioning comes from family and friends, each being led by traditions and beliefs from private or social cultures and the current community culture of ‘what’s cool today’ in connections to music, clothes, political viewpoint, hang outs, lingo, etc. The fact is, every group—good or bad, sane or crazy– has a following, a fan club, a history and, especially in these times, an outlet of connection and fellowship through internet, world connections for chat, hook ups, you name it, it’s all possible. SO, the pressure is on “being where you are”, fitting in where you see actual people walking around you. It doesn’t matter, in a sense, if you DO belong to some group NOT physically represented where you live. What matters most is belonging to people you can immediately touch, see eye to eye and talk personally to while looking in their eyes and feeling the energies from their presence directly. THAT’S the winning card. It’s the big gold ticket like Willy Wonka’s chocolate bar prize.

I just have to be right about all of this. 🙂 Why ? Because sanity is extremely important if you want to hang on long enough to see the proof that we all belong, we are all important and we all have someone who deeply loves us for who we are because we match their energies in some ways, some of the times and that’s all we really need to belong, to be right in the connection sense instead in the fact sense.

You already belong. The journey of life is to find where and then to recognize and accept when to change, as you grow inside toward other groups that provide what you need next for your spiritual journey. Eventually there will be some groups you always belong to. Relax and enjoy the journey and be brave and bold when you walk where you live. Be true to your sense of yourself, and if you cannot find the group that matches you, start your own. Then you will see them show up from their own hiding places because someone was brave enough to give them permission to be ok.

The end.

WHY ? By David Reid Otey

Why did I do what I did ?  Why did I say what I did ?

Actions and reactions, for reasons based on beliefs about ourselves and the world, push us up and down, forward and backward, into something and out of something.

Living is choosing an action or a reaction toward something or someone. We want the happy things, happy people, happy places and happy activities.

Life is that experiment of events chosen by us or forced upon us that is sometimes a struggle and sometimes a fortunate ”right” move.

Why we choose whatever we choose depends upon free will, opportunities from connections, a calling of some sort, either from outside or inside of us.

Why ? because of love, of fear, of desperation, of shame, of loneliness, of hopefulness, of a helping hand, of another chance, of needing to save this only life we know and want to enjoy.

If I ask myself every morning , “why am I going to do, to go, to commit, to involve myself in what I plan for today ?”, I might have a clearer vision of awareness and of where the control of and for my life really comes from: within me and my choices for life, or from someone else tactfully manipulating my time and life for their gains and dreams.

The end.

How did that get here ?

My wife and I walked across the street from a closed bar parking lot to the fitness center. Near to the curb at the intersection, I was looked down to step up and I saw a cheap, plastic purple necklace in the dirt. Three feet away from that was a shard of  broken pottery. I wondered, “How did that get here ?”  I  guessed the necklace came from party favors at the last New Year’s Eve party in the closed bar. Maybe the broken piece of pottery fell off a truck or out of someone’s pocket as they walked by.

A lot what we need in life–things and people–are found ”by chance”, ”by fate”, ”coincidence”. People and things sort of ”drop off” from something or someone else because of backfired plans or  on the spur of the moment or  not wanted anymore. Bits and pieces make up a collage. Scattered notes, different melodies and different rhythms make up a song. We cannot have a full life with just one friend and only one experience. Understanding and personal growth go together from the bits and pieces of sharing within others lives, regardless how long the connection and type of relationship it is.

Every one of us are a collage of those bits and pieces. Some of the bits and pieces we don’t like we carry anyway because someone convinced us we had to. Everyone we meet and connect to means we are both connecting to each others variations, to each others collage of pleasures and pains, of joys and sorrows that will affect how we respond to each other depending upon the circumstances and the situations formed by those circumstances. And THAT is where we are supposed to grow, to help each other see and feel what is the truth about which bits and pieces we should keep and which we can throw away on the side of life’s road, so empowerment and encouragement can move our spirits higher to who we really are and who we are meant to become with the talents within us.

How did you get where you are ?   How will you get to where you want to be ? Who will you connect to and listen to for ideas to try that you would not have found on your own power? Who has the ideas and plans to follow that could help you be at the place you need to be ?  Check your mental and spiritual back packs for who and what you really need and what–or who–you need to disconnect from.  Everything means something. Every thought and every action comes from an influence, from some sideline experience we were pushed or persuaded or forced to become a part of. And once CHOICE entered our independence we then have the ability and the power to decide a lot of what we become.  The End.